I probably have no right to say that most critics are retarded, but damn it, its probably true! I shall list 2 recent examples, GTA IV, and speedracer. One dreadfully over-rated, one woefully under-rated.
Speedracer: The average reviewer of this film apparently has no clue what the fuck the anime Speed racer was like, which might be valuable information to know BEFORE your review the live-action version!. I entered the theater to watch Speed racer opening night, surprised to see about 15-20 people in the theater. The cause of this was probably because of the scathing reviews it has recieved. Take, for example, this review from The New Yorker “of no conceivable interest to anyone over the age of ten.” “by the name of Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch). Does that not suggest a preëmptive strike by his parents,” “The film revolves around cars, yet there are practically no cars. Almost all the vehicles you see are digital creations, as is the track itself, and they cannon and collide with the harmless mayhem that anyone versed in Hot Wheels will recall with pride. The entire movie, indeed, is what Tom Wolfe would call a Kandy-Kolored Tangerine-Flake Streamline Baby, complete with achingly blue skies, customized deserts, fantastical mountains, and everything from Goodman’s shirt to Ricci’s fingernails daubed in lollipop hues; it makes the world of Pee-wee Herman look like Anselm Kiefer.” “they want everything both ways, stuffing the cast with multinational actors (“Speed Racer” is based on a Japanese comic book and TV show from the nineteen-sixties) yet still supplying the hero with a pancake-flipping mother, a father who builds a winning car in his own garage, and a glass of cold milk on the victor’s podium.”
WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? The world was created FROM the anime, the odd environments, odd clothing, the “harmless mayhem” if this twat actually bothered to do any research then this person might have made a valid review, but no, this douche cant be bothered with that. Not only that but I add :”Though the film is not as criminally poor as “V for Vendetta,”” clearly this person has no right to be reviewing for something as prestigious as The New Yorker.
The Movie’s cheesy dialogue, cuts, effects, environments, costumes, ect ect, is based/taken from the goddamn anime, but while paying tribute to the “quality” of the series, the movie also pokes fun at old anime. The Wachowskis also made it very enjoyable, a task nearly impossible when stuck with content like speed racer.
GTA IV
On the other end of the spectrum GTA IV has been getting more praise then a fatty scarfing down a salad. The lowest score from a critic on metacritic is a 91! I have played the game and I give it a 70, 75 tops, this creats a 16 point gap between me and the harshest reviewer, which is, frankely, absurd. The game is fun, entertaining, violent, and basically like every other GTA, just with the Euphoria Engine. The driving system is sort of annoying, the combat system is extremely unhelpful, and the voice actors are very annoying. That said it does have the un-deniable fun factor included with the GTA series. Long story short, the game is good, certainly an improvement since the previous entries in the series, but far from perfect.
What does this show you? Critics in todays society go, for the most part, with the flow. Whether its the universal jerk off of GTA IV or the screwing over Speed Racer is facing, Critics are affected by other critics.
Tags: GTA IV, retarded critics, Speed Racer
